Quotes directly from the application will be in this color. My comments will be in black.
Hoplite
Pan. Wren Shepherd Geiszler. The Alpha Mu Omega. Remnant Rank.
Before I begin:
“Wren has gained a reputation for being proficient with
pants”
This typo made me die laughing because I am a sad, sad person. It was under the
schedule section.
Now. I love Wren.
Likes
& Dislikes & Hobbies
THERE IS NOTHING ON THIS EARTH MORE EXCITING THAN A GRANOLA WHO HATES VEGANS
AND VEGETARIANS. I THINK HE GETS AN AUTO-ACCEPT FOR THIS ALONE. Ahem. Personal
agenda aside, Wren is great. He makes me giggle with his contempt for all
things not all natural. What really struck me was your ability to make Wren
into Pan the Obnoxious Hippie without also pushing some sort of PETA,
All Natural Grocery Store shopper mindset. Much love for that.
History
You’ve got a really great, well thought out concept for the character’s Mythos
history here, and I also love that he always introduces himself as being raised
by wolves on Earth. That’s awesome. XD
Uniform
SO. MUCH. LOVE.
Strengths: Wren is the perfect example of what I would love to see in the game. Ordinarily, this character type is done poorly – the writer takes a very self-righteous, fundamentalist view of their character’s beliefs and refuses to let the character just be – but Wren makes this character type wonderfully interesting and entertaining. I was constantly finding more and more to love with this character. He’s presented interesting new skills and abilities to the game, and fills a great slot. It’ll be exciting to have a younger teenage (and Remnant!) character in the game!
P.S. TECHNICOLOR HAIR <33333333++
Suggestions: This is kind of a “LOLDUH” thing that probably doesn’t even need to be said. I love that Pan is going to be playing Persephone’s “babysitter”, and I love that he picks on Hesperos, but I’d also like to see him have some sort of dynamic with some of the other AMO – especially since he’s a Remnant. As you know, we’ve got a buttload of NPCs (finished and unfinished) to mess around with, so you shouldn’t have much of a problem coming up with stuff.
Verdict: Accepted!