Quotes directly from the application will be in this color. My comments will be in black.
Strengths: This application is wonderful. It’s very unique; it’s well written; it absolutely nails what I was hoping to see in an Alpha Mu Omega Ancient Rebirth application. I’m going to quote, directly from the application, a few sentences from the personality that had to do with Persephone’s relationship with Rage:
“Though Shazi is of an untrusting nature, she is a firm believer in the Word of Rage. This isn't through blind loyalty. Rage is the one constant every time she's been rebirthed in the past and she's come to view him as the only person (being?) that she can fully trust.”
Although blind loyalty is perfectly acceptable, I really love this idea. Shazi isn’t just blindly loyal. She trusts Rage because Rage has always been there for her, or at least so she believes. It’s a different motivation to believe in Rage as a messiah.
I love how you managed to tie Persephone’s cycle of death and rebirth into everything, but also still focus on growth and plants (as facets of life, death and rebirth). The history takes subjects that may not have worked in the game and executes them perfectly.
Other things that I loved: The bees, the pomegranate grenade, her room, the uniform (:O SO HOT), and the locked away seeing zombies ability. Man. I just liked everything.
Suggestions:
I’m going to need a definite height, as I don’t think one was mentioned?
I’m not sure if I should be picturing her as tall or short. I can’t decide.
I’d like to see a bit more about the dog, Shenti. You don’t have to go back and
edit the profile to do this. You can probably accomplish this best in logs, and
I’m assuming the dog is going to be used to get Shazi interacting with people.
Verdict: ACCEPTED. Welcome to the game.